Dr. Harry Levinson of the Men­ninger Clinic in Topeka, Kansas, once said that a good manager, like a good parent, tells people, "You can become whatever you want to become. My job is to facilitate, to help you become that upon which you've set your heart and mind.”

As a business person, a parent, a citi­zen, an employee—as a human being—you help others to develop by letting them know that you appreciate their efforts. Every role in life, whether at home, on the job, or in the community, has within it the seed of personal fulfillment. But for countless reasons we too often fail to realize or to encourage that potential. Words of appreciation, how­ever, help others to see the road to personal success. In the process, you'll also make life richer for yourself. 

For more ideas on this topic, check out my book Being Nice at:  http://tinyurl.com/723ngzy

 

            Among my current writing projects is a short book called Being Nice--A Winner's Secret Weapon. It should be ready in a month or so. As you can surmise from the title, the book makes the point that nice people will do well in life--niceness is a trait worth developing. Consequently, compliments yield better rewards (results) than do criticisms.

Toward the end of his life, artist Benjamin West recounted how he became a renowned painter. One day when he was a child his mother went out and left his sister Sally to baby-sit. While his mother was gone, West found some bottles of colored ink and set about "painting" a portrait of Sally. He also dabbled ink around the kitchen in the process.

Wise parents know what to see and what to ignore. Mrs. West was a wise mother. When she returned home, she ignored the colorful mess. Instead she looked at the paper her son was painting on and said, "Why, it's Sally!" and she kissed her little son.

West later observed: "My mother's kiss that day made me a painter."

Neither fame nor fortune is enough to fulfill the human spirit. Even the rich and famous among us crave the apprecia­tion and approval of those who are important to them.

            Praise makes our lives more satisfying. We can “replay” compli­ments in our minds, treasuring them as a defense against the times when self-esteem wavers.

            Something to think about.

 

Here's my newest favorite quote. What do you think of the idea?

"In life, unlike in chess, the game goes on after checkmate."

                                             -- Isaac Asimov

 

Your thoughts are not just flashes of bioelectrical impulse that happen and then disappear. Our thoughts are movers and shakers, literally shaping our lives. Our "self-talk" drives our level of contentment and our degree of success. Our inward vocabulary and the ideas that it forms drive us toward success and happiness or failure and upset.

 

Your thinking exerts a profound effect on how you "feel" and how you perceive life's situations, its opportunities, and your reactions to those things. An optimistic viewpoint surrounded with positive thoughts generates energy for moving in a more advantageous direction. In effect, you then feel more control over life’s challenges, preventing them from overwhelming you. Optimism creates an honest mind. Optimism is a "force multiplier," to say it in military terms. Being positive does not mean that you ignore realities. Instead, it means focusing on thinking that enhances contentment and progress.

 

Positive thinking improves the chances for success. When you know that you are worthwhile and that making headway is possible, you can relax and see solutions rather than locking up your mind by focusing on problems. Your mind finds what it expects to find. If you anticipate finding contentment, health, and achievement, then you will probably encounter those states of being. Thinking positively sounds like a simple shift of focus – and it is – but it is a state of mind that requires effort to reach. Negative thoughts come readily and when they do, you need to supplant negativity with solution-oriented, optimistic thoughts. With practice, you can train your mind to ignore and dismiss self-defeating thoughts. 

 

You have it within your power to become as joyous, content, or successful as you make up your mind to be. This does not mean that problems cease to exist, but staying positive will profoundly and quickly affect your mood and the quality of your experiences. For that to happen, positive thinking must be your predominant mind-set. For the religious person, this is the nature of faith. Once you have committed to this life-view, you will understand the "peace that passes understanding" and that "all things work for good to those who love the Lord and are called according to His purposes." Are you positive?

 

"Writing a novel is like driving a car at night. You can see only as far as your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way." (E.L. Doctorow)

 

I might have quoted that previously, but it still strikes me as true--and more so as time passes. I am not yet into writing my novel in the strictest sense. Several chapters are "in the can" already, but they are semi-abandoned for the moment. The Snowflake Method and "Fiction Writing for Dummies" by Randy Ingermanson are currently in charge of my progress, and I'm pleased with my progress at this point. The prescription right now is for comprehensive character development. Now and then some good plot insights pop into focus, and this serves to inure me against the restless agony to get a move on with the REAL writing. Writing a novel is becoming an education.

 

Years ago, Winston Churchill planned his own funeral. After the benediction, a bugler high in the dome of St. Paul’s Cathedral was to play  Taps, the universal signal that the day is over. But then, in dramatic Churchill fashion, another bugler across the dome was to play

Reveille, the universal signal that a new day has dawned and it is time to arise. This was Churchill’s testimony that, at the end of history, the last note will not be Taps. It will be Reveille, because of our hope of resurrection in Christ.

  "People you feel drawn to reflect your inner self back at you, and you act as a mirror for them as well."

I recently read the above statement in an e-mail from a New Age outfit called "DailyOM.com." We see other people's qualities in innumerably random combinations. The premise was that the qualities we see in others are the same traits we possess. After all, “Like attracts like.” Our own attributes attract other people with like attitudes, according to the "Law of Attraction." In other words, when you look at others you are looking at yourself. When you perceive others as kind, generous, or loving, you are seeing the admirable qualities within yourself. When you see qualities in others that cause you to feel resentment, anger, arrogance, or hatred, it may be because those are characteristics of your own self which you have not yet acknowledged or come to grips with.

I agree that our own character may be revealed in what we think about others. Looking at the people you've invited into your life can tell you a lot about yourself. All too often, the attitudes and behaviors of others can mirror our own subconscious and unresolved issues.

When you meet a person you admire, examine your own actions and motivations to see if you possess any of the traits you admire in them. "And here's the rub," as Shakespeare might say--likewise, when you meet someone with traits that get your hackles up, consider whether you might be gazing into a mirror of your own soul. You might be surprised and humbled.

I understand that our impressions of others may arise as a reflection of our own psyche. But are we capable of something more than a mere mirroring of what we are already? Can we at the core of self fundamentally alter our traits by cultivating in ourselves the attitudes and behaviors that we like and admire in others? Again paraphrasing Mister Shakespeare, "...that is the question."

 

 

 Do you remember...

 

     When there were two kinds of sneakers for kids--Keds and PF Flyers? 

     When nearly everyone's mom was at home when the kids got there? 

     When nobody but a rich person owned a purebred dog? 

     When 25-cents was a decent allowance, and another quarter was a huge bonus?

     When girls neither dated nor kissed until late high school, if then?  

     When your mom wore nylons that came in two pieces? 

     When male school teachers wore neckties and female teachers had their hair done, everyday? 

     When you got your windshield cleaned, oil checked, and gas pumped, without asking, for free, every time. And, you didn't pay for air. And,  you got Green Stamps too? 

     When laundry detergent had free drinking glasses, dishes, or towels tucked inside the box? 

     When any parent could discipline any kid, or feed him, or tell him to carry groceries, and nobody--not even the kid--thought a thing of it? 

     When it was considered a great privilege of "growing up" to be taken out to dinner at a real restaurant with your parents? 

     When they threatened to keep kids back a grade in school if they failed--and did? 

     When being sent to the principal's office was nothing compared to the fate that awaited a misbehaving student at home? 

     Basically, we were in fear for our lives but it wasn't because of drive-by shootings, drugs, gangs, etc. The disapproval of our parents and grandparents was a much bigger threat?

 

     Do you remember? Those were good days. 

                                                                                                -- Borrowed 

In Texas, Armadillos sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.

Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.